ok, i’m built like a noble ox. like i am 6′1 and i am sturdy lady. like thighs for days. if you try to move me. you will be moved. body images aside (lol, i am self conscious about my size, yeah it’s life)
so like, i am very used to girls standing next to me in public places. i end up acquiring a pack of ladies. just because women are like, that lady is a lady men stay away from. i am jerk kryptonite (usually, i get my fair share of creeps, such is life) but most men have self preservation that this 6′1 ox will break them. and i will
so usually i am in my own phone and look up to another lady standing next to me. and i will immediately look up and make eye contact and nod. like, you know, that nod. i see you and you can talk if there is something wrong. i end up on a reg basis being a defacto bodyguard to these young ladies and small women while waiting for buses and in the metro.
i am a large oak tree. i protect the other birds.
ladies, we all got roles. find tree in the wild. we’re always happy to provide shelter from the creeps.
i’ve regularly said, “move on, she doesn’t want to be your friend”
I’m in love
Story time: So I’m 6’2 and “big boned” as my mother would call it. This happens to me all the time and a couple years ago I managed to get the the front row of a Macklemore concert. This woman, probably 5’4, squeezes up next to me and says, “Hey, I’m here alone, do you mind if I stand in front of you?” Of course not. So we’re all having a good time, dancing around, when all of a sudden this Bro™️ is behind me telling me that I’m too tall to be in the front row and it’s not fair. Now, keep in mind that this concert was outside, in February, in Vail CO. It was FREEZING so not only am I of the stature I am but I had my hair up and a beanie on and a big coat and boots. We try our best to ignore him but Bro™️ is drunk and very clearly thinks I’m a man and proceeds to punch me in the back of the head.
LIL SIS WENT OFF, FOLKS. This tiny woman literally moved me out of the way, jumped up, and head butted Bro™️ in the face with such a fury. I thought she was going to kill him, it was truly a beautiful moment in my life.
The moral of the story is that for every tree in the wild there is a cute little birdy who will defend its shelter to the death. Stick together ladies👯♀️
Some of us are oak trees, some of us are little birdies, some of us are squirrels, some of us are…tree snakes… but whatever you are, stick together, ladies!
This is the money courage, reblog at your leisure for wealth, positivity and good fortune. Add any negativity to this post and a man will appear outside your home yelling “return the slab” over and over.
Yes it’s a real service. I do volunteer work for a rape crisis support service in my city and texting is one of the features we provide as well. But just to boost its credibility, I tried it myself:
I’ve used this before and it’s a huge life saver. The volunteer literally talked me down from a panic attack and sent me links to helpful websites pertaining to what I was dealing with
This adorable little robot is designed to make sure its photosynthesising passenger is well taken care of. It moves towards brighter light if it needs, or hides in the shade to keep cool. When in the light, it rotates to make sure the plant gets plenty of light. It even likes to play with humans.
Oh, and apparently, it gets antsy when it’s thirsty.
The robot is actually an art project called “Sharing Human Technology with Plants” by a roboticist named Sun Tianqi. It’s made from a modified version of a Vincross HEXA robot, and in his own words, it’s purpose is “to explore the relationship between living beings and robots.”
so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.Â
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THATÂ
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.Â
HE GONE.Â
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.Â
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*Â
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.Â
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.
